Make space for what you want! Literally!

Are you making space?

After my divorce, I was excited to get out into the dating world. I wasn't interested in long-term relationships. I just wanted to go out and meet some amazing men. And I did. Despite hearing that dating sucked and there are no good men from my friends, I was bound to have a different mindset.

And it worked. I was still fresh to dating. I did my homework and found a couple of great male relationship coaches on YouTube and followed their advice. Their messages resonated with me and I wanted to create a relationship with love, fun, and sexiness.

For me, online dating was fun and exciting. One of the first men who was interested in meeting me was surprised at how open and authentic I was. When I told him to just call me instead of endless messaging through the app, he was thrown for a loop. He had been in the game too long but was still open to picking up the phone for a real conversation. He had a smooth and silky voice. I could have listened to him for hours. We had a brief relationship. Like many of the men I encountered, he was looking for a long-term relationship.

I bring him up not because of that, but because he didn't want a relationship energetically. How did I know? He had grown children but was still living a college bachelor life. First, he didn't own a set of dishes. All his dishes were an odd assortment and nothing matched. He had his favorite dish and cup. There wasn't the cohesiveness of eating a meal together on shared dinnerware. In the bedroom, he had a bookshelf as a nightstand on his side with nothing on the other. His closet was full of clothes with barely an open spot.

It made me wonder, did he want someone in his life? I asked him about this and he assured me he did. He gently listened to my suggestions and observations. I don't think he was sure about all this "energy" stuff I kept talking about. He was very much a down-to-earth guy and kept to his authenticity in baseball caps, t-shirts, and jeans.

The next time I came over, there was a stool on the other side of the bed with a phone charger.